Home is a strange concept when you’re used to traveling and living in different places. Where is home, exactly? Is it where you were born, where you spend most of your nights, or where you first fell in love? I had spent years making my home in Spain, but this time, it was different. I wasn’t talking about a place; I wanted to be closer to my family.

The Pull of Intuition: Trusting Your Inner Voice

Suddenly, the distance didn’t just feel like miles—it felt wrong. I was confused trying to understand this new feeling. I loved my life and had worked hard to build it, but sometimes intuition pulls you in a direction that logic can’t quite explain. I had spent the second half of my twenties honing that inner voice. Listening to it was like building a muscle; the more you trust it, the stronger it gets.

Burnout and Gaslighting

It wasn’t just homesickness. I was also burnt out from juggling too many jobs while studying for my master’s degree. One of my work environments had become so toxic it made me physically sick. I loved teaching—it energized me. But suddenly, it was draining me in ways I couldn’t ignore.

I’ve always felt a natural instinct in the classroom, creating spaces where students felt safe to speak up. But who knew that my past experience with gaslighting in dating and relationships wouldn’t prepare me for a boss who could master the art of it too? When faced with unsafe conditions it became painfully clear something was off. I battled with guilt over leaving the kids, staying longer than I should have, but as soon as I left that situation, I felt a wave of relief. I realized that, despite my passion and energy, I was replaceable and needed to prioritize my well-being.

Navigating Transition: The Push to Return Home

Looking back, it all made sense. I’d had this nagging feeling for months, but couldn’t place it. Then, in April 2023, I got a call that put everything into perspective: my dad was sick. In that instant, I knew this was why I’d felt the pull to go home. My intuition had been trying to tell me something all along. Thankfully, it’s being managed, and he’s doing better, but that moment solidified my decision. I needed to be closer, not just for now, but for whatever the future might hold.

Manifesting the Future: Staying Positive in a Long-Distance Relationship

So, where does that leave me? Feeling stretched, like my heart is caught between oceans. Moving back to California has been a mix of comfort and frustration. I’m grateful to be close to my family again—I’ll never forget the first time I stepped off the plane and saw my parents waiting for me after two long years apart. But here I am, starting my late twenties in my own studio apartment and ending them back in my childhood bedroom. I have to remind myself that this is temporary and part of the plan my partner and I decided.

Even though it’s tough waiting for his visa to be approved, we’re manifesting our future in the meantime. We video chat, plan our next trips, and stay positive. It’s hard, but I remind myself that the love we have is worth the wait. I’ve manifested this life, and even though I’m in a place of transition, I trust that this chapter is leading me exactly where I need to be.